Ever heard the saying “Be the bigger person”? Do you know what they are referring to when they say it? In society the use this phrase to describe letting stuff slide and moving on without letting what others say or do affect you. Sometimes in life, we need to choose our battles wisely. There are so many petty things that don’t deserve our time let alone our energy. I, myself have dealt with such Issues. When someone has done me so wrong and I should be extremely pissed but instead I shrug it off and move on. Holding a grudge against someone only affect you, it doesn’t phase them one bit but it can destroy you.
I don’t understand how so many people can be so negative, yes, I go through spells where I get depressed or upset or whatnot but I can’t purposely hurt someone, I can’t be vindictive and do unto others as they have done unto me. It’s not in my nature to retaliate against another. Somedays I wish I could but, in the end, I just can’t do it. So many times, I have had things on my mind that I wanted to say or do but when the time came something else came out of my mouth and I’m like where the fuck did that come from as it was the complete opposite of what I was thinking. Its as if some days I can’t control my own movement and speech.
I have struggled for years trying to be a good person and let go of the things that have hurt me. In life, we can choose to either be a Tigger or an Eeyore. Which do you choose? I choose to do what makes me happy, there is no sense in dragging myself through hell worrying about what others say about me or do. I can’t control them but I can control myself. Maybe I just look at things differently, my glass is neither half empty or half full it is simply half.
I still have problems daily with my thoughts and dealing with my own inner demons and voices that constantly tell me I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty enough, no one wants me, I’m all alone, etc. I realized the other day I am alone, I have no one here who is on my side. Everyone around me that should be on my side is making my life more difficult. I do however have friends that don’t like close (except for maybe 3 who live here but are busy) that I feel like I could count on but in the end all we have is ourselves so if we can’t love who we are for every mistake we’ve made and flaw we possess than we will reach a point where we wont even want to be around ourselves. Love yourself because you are the only person you can truly count on.